SPORTS BETTING:

The Bug’s finance and investment columnist Morrie Bezzle has called on gaming regulators to fast-track an application for his new Chinese-backed entrant into Australia’s crowded online sports betting market.

Queensland Police and the state’s Office of Liquor and Gaming Regulation say they are yet to determine if they will approve the application by Mr Bezzle on behalf of a consortium involving him, a group of Chinese investors, and unnamed Australian investors they described as “colourful racing identities”.

Speaking to reporters, Brisbane-based Mr Bezzle, (main picture) said he and his partners were hoping for a quick approval of their new business.

“I fervently hope that the shiny-arsed pen-pushing do-nothings who’ve got nothing better to do with their time except enforce the law will see sense and give us the go-ahead very soon,” he said.

Mr Bezzle said once approved the new Wen Yu Liu’s Online Betting Agency would start operating immediately.

“We’re ready to roll and we want it up and running as soon as possible to catch the idio, … I mean the punters who plunge squillions of their hard earned on the nags at Flemington on the first Tuesday in November,” he said.

“Me and my oriental mates know that there are many other online betting firms chasing the same Melbourne Cup dollars that would otherwise be squandered on frivolous things like mortgages, rent, food, or clothes and school books for the kiddies.

“So we’ll be framing some very attractive markets for online punters on the big day including our new and unique bet-with-mates-$50-cashback-treble-quaddie-accumulator-top fluc- exacta-flexi-duet-trifecta.

“Punters won’t see anything like it, or their money, ever again,” he said.

Mr Bezzle said horse racing was not the only sport the new agency would target.

“We’ll be taking bets on all sorts of sports including a new market we’ll be operating ourselves.

“I can’t reveal too much right now but I can say it involves a wall and two insects.”