VICTORIAN STATE POLITICS:

A series of heartless pranks has left Victorian Opposition Leader Matthew Guy bedridden in a Melbourne private hospital and totally incapable of executing his parliamentary duties, giving the Liberal Party hope that it might perform better at the looming state election than most pundits and the pollsters expect.

Mr Guy was rushed to a prestigious private hospital in leafy Toorak late yesterday suffering from a suspected heart attack after the first two pranks were played on him – emails sent in a matter of minutes to his electorate office purporting to be from former Liberal Prime Ministers John Howard and Scott Morrison.

In those missives, both men promised to travel to Victoria to campaign side by side with Mr Guy “on a daily basis” during the campaign leading up to the 26 November polling day.

An electoral officer who asked not to be named told The Bug: “Mr Guy immediately clutched his chest and toppled sideways off his office chair.

“We all thought he was a goner.

“He was rushed to the Harold Holt Memorial Private Hospital for Liberal Politicians Way Out of Their Depth where doctors, thankfully, diagnosed not heart failure but a very severe panic attack.”

The Bug understands a relieved Mr Guy was making steady progress and might even have been ruled fit enough for release this morning until another prankster breached the hospital’s security just on 7pm and had delivered to his private room a whole lobster dinner.