MEDIA NEWS:

Australian-spawned US media mogul Rupert Murdoch has filed for divorce little more than a week after marrying his fifth wife.

Mr Murdoch, 93, and retired Russian biologist Elena Zhukova, 67, tied the knot at a quiet ceremony at his California vineyard at the beginning of June.

The sudden split is being attributed to a typo in a message sent to Mr Murdoch who is expected to fly to Australia in coming weeks.

“It seems someone at News Crap Australia sent a very sketchy email message to Rupert to remind him of his trip Down Under as part of the upcoming 60^th anniversary of the launch of the national broadshit The Australian,” a source within the company said.

“Unfortunately, some sloppy typing led Rupert to believe he was being invited to meet a 60-year-old called Thea Ustralian.

“He really likes younger women so his ears pricked up and his pri……well, you can guess the rest. He swiftly inquired if Thea Ustralian was right-wing enough for him and was assured that, yes, she certainly was.

“He immediately forwarded Elena Zhukova the exact same email he sent Jerry Hall when they busted up, but just changed the names.

“So the horny old bastard is now free again and is heading our way and nobody is game to tell him the truth of what happened.

“So there has been some very fancy footwork at the company’s Holt Street HQ in Surry Hills to accommodate Rupert’s expectation and his… shall we say, needs, when he gets here.

“Volunteers were called for to dress up and pretend to be Thea Ustralian with clear warnings about the possibility – indeed the certainty – that things will take a physical turn when the old man arrives.

“The choice came down to Greg Sheridan and Gerard Henderson who were both keen to help out. More keen than some thought appropriate. Or natural.

“In the end Greg’s beard ruled him out so it’ll be down to Gerard (below) to keep Rupert happy.

“He’s actually looking forward to it. A dream and career goal come true, so he says,” the source said.

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