The Washington correspondent for News Crap Australia’s national broadshit The Australian, Adam Creighton, (inset and inserted in main picture) has been named as The Bug’s Arselicker of the Month Award for April.

In gaining his first win of this uncoveted monthly award, Creighton beat off a determined effort by Sky LNPNews host Caleb Bond, who recently suggested to his viewer that the Bondi Junction murders could have been avoided if the shopping centre’s security and indeed customers had been packing heat! As long as the deranged murderer wasn’t!

Our judges didn’t even know that Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch had investments in the manufacture of such small arms, including Saturday night specials for your average shopper.

Of Creighton’s breakthrough win, our judges said this particular write-wing warrior had always displayed a professional willingness to lick clean the coit of anyone whose public utterings aligned with those of far right-wing News Crap Australia, its parent News Crap International, and their corporate leaders such as the Murdochs.

“But in April he really outdid himself,” one judge said on the condition of anonymity.

“Of course the Murdochs will this year yet again place their corporate interests ahead of facts and democracy in the USA by yet again backing Donald Trump’s efforts to sit in the Oval Office.

“So Adam is doing all he can to help by writing glowing stories about Trump including ones saying how funny the guy is on the campaign trail, how he uses humour to win over audiences and how ‘wise’ his stand on abortion – more correctly against abortion – has been. (below)

“We can all relate to how funny Trump is. I mean, he had people rolling in the aisles on 6 January 2021 – even if they were the aisles of the two houses of Congress at the US Capitol.

“Certainly the insurrectionists trying to destroy democracy that day and hang the US Vice-President had big grins on their faces.”

The anonymous judges said Creighton had also been active on social media – namely the right-wing global sewage farm that is X, formerly Twitter – promoting nuclear power in line with News Crap Australia’s blatant campaign to promote Liberal Party leader Peter Dutton’s pro-nuclear power agenda.

“He also often retweets – or should that be re-excretes? – anti-Labor posts,” the judge said.

“Just last week he did that and added a line suggesting Prime Minister Albanese may soon take the title belonging to former Liberal PM from the early 1970s Billy McMahon.

“Nobody could misconstrue that such a blatantly partisan comment is an assertion by Adam that Albo is our worst-ever PM.

“It’s good to see that the Murdoch media regime allows everyone to see the calibre of the supposedly independent journalists it employs, especially in light of its daily attacks on so-called ‘activist’ and ‘lefties’ journos at the ABC.

“On that note Adam also recently wrote a big story based on comments by far right-wing mining magnate Gin Rinehart who was complaining about all that was wrong with the nation – mainly the Labor Government in Canberra – and that the tyrannical Chinese communist regime does thing a whole lot better.

“But to be fair, in a truly Murdochian way, Adam did balance her far right-wing comments with some from the far-right wing Institute of Public Affairs and the far right-wing former prime minister Tony Abbott.

“So you can see that Adam constantly shows remarkable skill in rimming the rings of the likes of Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch which makes him a worthy winner of our Arselicker of the Month Award,” the judge said.

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